F is for Funk
by Kirihana
Summary: Part of the Alphabet Series. Duo finds out what Wufei really does in the training room every afternoon.


I'm baaaack! Over Christmas break I became the overjoyed owner of the complete DVD collection of Gundam Wing! Yay! The funny thing is that prior to buying the series, I actually hadn't seen a single episode in roughly four or five years. Okay, maybe that's more scary than funny, since I still wrote fan fiction about it.

Now, on with my explanation of this installment's particular inspiration. I was driving home from the place I visited for New Year's and messing with the radio. One of the stations was playing a specific song (the identity of which will soon be revealed), and instantly Wufei popped into my head. So that's how this happened. Enjoy!

I do not own Gundam Wing.

**F is for Funk**

Each of the housemates had a routine that he followed without fail on whatever days he was not on a mission. Quatre and Trowa's routines were much the same, as they spent a great deal of time together. They would come downstairs at approximately seven in the morning and one or both of them would fix breakfast for the rest of the household. Heero would wander in shortly after, having already been up for an hour and turned on the coffee pot. He would take his coffee black and always used the special mug Duo had bought him as a half-joke, which proudly proclaimed "My mission is my life." Heero would then disappear back to his lair… er, room, until lunch. Wufei would show up promptly at eight, eat his breakfast, drink his coffee from a mug labeled "The weak don't fight," and go to the training room for the next four hours. Duo would stumble into the kitchen at any time between eight and ten-thirty, at which time Trowa tended to throw the uneaten breakfast items (excluding cereal, of course) away. Duo would then fill his own special mug (his personal favorite of the set, sporting a large smiley-face and the words "Yeah, go right ahead and shoot me") with a concoction that was roughly a third coffee, a third sugar, and a third cream. He would then relocate to the living room and watch TV until noon. Between breakfast and lunch Trowa and Quatre would sip coffee and tea respectively (from a mug that said "Coffee, Chocolate, and Men: Some Things Are Better Rich" and a teacup decorated with a picture of Sandrock, also respectively and both also presents from Duo, who had way too much fun at the cart in the mall that sold coffee mugs) and chit-chat. At twelve sharp lunch would be served, and it was rare that all of the pilots would eat together. Heero would take his lunch upstairs to his room, where he would continue whatever he did in the morning. Duo would eat in the living room unless he had made a mess the previous day, in which case Quatre would make him eat in the kitchen with him and Trowa. Wufei ate very light lunches and would then go back to training. In the afternoon, Trowa and Quatre would go grocery shopping. If there was no shopping to be done, they would go to the music room and practice. Sometimes Duo would listen to them, and sometimes he would go back to the TV. Occasionally he would go upstairs and bother Heero. If Deathscythe needed repairs, he would make them and, out of courtesy and respect to those who prepared his meals, do whatever tinkering Sandrock or Heavyarms required. He did not, however, know what exactly Wufei did in the afternoon. Surely four hours of training in the morning was enough, but Chinese pilot went back to the training room in the afternoon without fail. Dinner was the only meal that all five ate together on those rare occasions that they were all home for it. Its exact time varied, since it might be postponed for a pilot who would return "any minute." After dinner, Wufei or Heero might read the newspaper in the living room, while Quatre and Trowa would take often take over the TV, leaving Duo to either sulk at their choice in programming or make his own fun, which usually had less than pleasant results for the rest of the house. Sometime between ten and twelve they would each retire to their separate bedrooms, though whether they went asleep at those times remains questionable. So it was every single day.

One day Duo decided to break the cycle. It was one of those (thankfully) rare days that Heero, Quatre, and Trowa were all gone on missions, so whatever meals Duo and Wufei expected to get they would have to make themselves. Duo wasn't too worried about the food, being a master of the microwave. No, he was more concerned about his potential boredom and the effects it might have on his remaining sanity. ("Remaining" because even he admitted that some of his previous actions had not been completely within the range of reasonable.) So Duo decided to find out just what Wufei did in the training room all day. He was not expecting what he saw.

Duo thought it best to take Wufei by surprise, so as to catch his fellow Gundam pilot following his natural routine. Morning observations yielded no interesting results. Wufei was actually training, going through various exercises in martial arts and of the general type. As Duo moved down the hall towards the training room after lunch, however, he heard music.

_Ohhh…_

_Ohhh…_

_Everybody was kung-fu fighting_

"Hooh!"

_Those cats were fast as lightning_

"Hah!"

_In fact it was a little bit frightening_

Duo felt that particular lyric was an understatement as he peered cautiously around the doorframe. He vaguely recognized the song, identifying it as coming from a period of the twentieth century known as "the Seventies." It was also part of the "funk" movement of that decade. Wufei was moving to the music, executing perfect kung-fu moves in time with the beat and to correspond to the songs various grunts. On the one hand, Duo was impressed with the time and effort it must have taken Wufei to create the choreography and then perfect it, not to mention his memorization of the song. On the other hand Duo wanted to fall to the floor and laugh hysterically. He knew that this, however, would not be the best choice of action. So he left, retreating not to the living room but grabbing his coat and actually leaving the house, his destination a certain coffee-mug-selling cart at the mall.

Duo could not resist snickering Wufei got his coffee the next morning. Duo had come downstairs early just to replace Wufei's usual coffee cup with a new one, and he was waiting for Wufei to notice. The Chinese pilot sensed the object of Duo's pointed staring and looked down at it. Interested in these goings-on, Quatre and Trowa also looked. The new cup was labeled "Funky China Man From Funky China Town." Wufei was not amused. Quatre and Trowa didn't get it. Duo just laughed.

---Owari---

There was no actual dialogue in that one, other than Wufei's grunts or whatever you want to call them. Sometimes I amaze myself. I still take suggestions for more installments of the Alphabet Series! B, Q, and X are the only other ones already planned for, so help me out here! Also, I feel I should remind some readers that these one-shots are posted as separate stories. Much as I appreciate you putting them on alert, they won't be updated like that. Just so you know. Thank you for reading and for your support! Review please!


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